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经过

第一个人

Gary Indiana,Cookie as my ex-boyfriend,纽约,1980年。

我在Soho的一个稳定的小鸡尾酒会,我每周一次的那些不行的派对之一。这是一个典型的Soho Art Shindig:有一个完整的酒吧,切片的原料蔬菜和蛤蜊蘸,面包棒,迷你维纳和豌豆大小的肉丸,在一个热的不锈钢锅中漂浮在红汁上。通常的一堆磨砂,抱怨,纽约艺术登山者都在那里混在一起,谨慎地聊天和挑战,妇女在明智的低跟鞋和昂贵的长袜,没有跑步,丝绸领带,设计师运动夹克的男人和洁净的牛仔裤。

有一些愚蠢的血腥眼睛的男人都在大麻围绕着;女士们正在咯咯地笑着扔掉他们的时尚Pageboy发型,表现得像他们以前从未见过大麻。这些女性年轻,清新大学,但他们总是试图让自己出于某种原因看起来旧。我从来没有明白这一点。他们穿着灰色的宽松连衣裙和几块微小,雅致,保守的珠宝。

有一个男人站在我靠近我的巴特勒的酒吧,用其中一个平淡的玉米喂食的玉米喂食。他们正在吸烟。女孩 - 这是佩尔基,Peppy,Preppie开始咳嗽,他笑着试图为她的可爱而抱抱她。他转向我只有足够长的时间来向我交联。

“Here,” he said, “you look like the type that could handle this.”

“不,谢谢,”我说,“我不使用药物......只有麻醉品。”

这是事实。我会停止使用大麻。它让我偏执狂。

这person I’d come with, Alvain Arles, the art critic and historian, came over to me.

“这是一个真正的孔。打鼾电影节。让我们出去of here,” he said. Alvain was many things, but never boring. He had a hard time tolerating people who were. I hurled back my martini and we slipped out the door.

“You think UFO or SHELL SHOCK will be out yet over on Fourth Street?” he asked.

“我不这么认为。但是Roadrunner或Seven Up或Nousea应该在七街出来,“我说,因为我们试图欣赏驾驶室。

“How about T.N.T. or DOLT BOLT?” he said in the cab, counting his money, “they’re a little stronger.”

“Let’s just head straight for 10th Street for POISON or BLACK DEATH,” I said, “they’re always open. They have TOXIC and RADIOACTIVE there too.”

“所以它在哪里?”驾驶室司机问道。

“Just head for the east side,” Alvain said. “How about IMPALE or PEG-LEG? VIRGIN DEVIL, X- RATED? Or PARALYZE or WALLOP or LOT O’ROT?”

“除了墙上之外的任何一个。我甚至不知道wallop仍然存在。你必须去最新的东西......一周或两两个质量总是偷偷摸摸。甜蜜十六岁或真正的蓝色怎么样?等等!为什么不厕所?“

“嘿!!好的!!是的!!厕所现在出来了,所以折磨!“他兴奋了。“司机,带我们到东第三街和大道B,”他说,并结算回来,开心。“厕所和酷刑。一个人是伟大的。“

我们在谈论海洛因。这些名称是在东侧街道上销售的十美元金额的小玻璃包上的橡胶印章。瘾君子,周末的用户和其他海洛因Aficionados记住了心脏的所有名字;他们知道在哪里得到每个人,究竟什么时候“商店”打开。

我想知道这个驾驶室司机的想法。也许他以为我们越过了我们最喜欢的剥削电影或脏书的名字,或讨论了S&M Bars。

我们到了第三和B的角落,而Alvain跳出了。“你拿着出租车,”他说。“这将花一秒钟。”

驾驶室司机等了四秒钟,然后他转向我,“嘿,我不想坐在这里。我在失去票价,“他说。

“Don’t worry. We’ll make it worth your while,” I said.

“不。支付,我得走了。“

我给了他钱并出去了。这是一个拖累。通常,没有出租车,这是没有灾难的,但在十年的那个时候,我在那个街道的那个街区的鸡尾酒纪念地看起来有点太大了。我还拿着剩下的艾尔韦恩的钱,瘾君子可以闻到金钱,特别是如果他们盗贼或恶化。我环顾四周的艾尔韦恩,看到他倒下了街区,与红白跑步衣服的波多黎各人说话,可能会调情,因为那家伙很可爱,他是阿尔维特的类型。我走到他们身边,听到了波多黎各说,“是的,酷刑的烟雾'起了。我看到了'em contron出去了jeso.d.ed的人。你给了我你的钱'我会把它拿到fa ya。“

“这是我所看到的最后一个那” Alvain laughed. “No, I know where to go.”

这guy kept trying to think of some way to get some money from us, and he walked beside us talking nonstop. I could tell that Alvain was falling in love.

“Okay, I’m gonna give ya one of my bags,” Alvain said, and gently tweaked the Puerto Rican’s beardless chin.

我们走到烧坏的大楼里,人们在黑暗的走廊里排队,抓着他们的钱,等待买。每个人都很安静。第一个排队的家伙通过大厅后面的一扇门中的一槽来到了三个十美元的钞票,从插槽中出来了三个玻璃袋折磨。

站在大厅入口处的一个大黑人正在保持一切。他在那里工作。“快点,搬家,让你的钱准备好,加强,”他说。

在我面前的一个朋克摇滚者正在和一个瘦的意大利人说话,“是的,有人在这个狗屎前。现在必须是街上最好的狗屎。“

“Told ya,” the Puerto Rican reminded us.

“Great!” another person in line said, “I’m lucky I came out now.”

“是的,我的男人在折磨yestada的时候,他扔了所有ova da的地方,”一只瘦小的女孩穿着蓝色皮夹克说。“是垃圾谢,男人!”

“Shhh!” said the big guy at the entrance.

与失败者和铁杆用户混合在线等待着众多繁荣的类型:一个华尔街男子,一个金发模型,我在上个月见过时尚那a famous post-minimalist sculptor, a famous filmmaker, and a guy I’d seen once on some daytime soap opera,另一个世界, 要么这Edge of Day, 要么城市医院。I can never remember the names of those shows.

When Alvain and I got to the dope door, Alvain slipped his money through the slot and out came six little white rectangular packages, taped with clear tape and stamped with the word TORTURE. With the goods, we bustled out the building and walked fast off the block. Alvain gave one to the Puerto Rican, and the Puerto Rican disappeared. Alvain was temporarily heartbroken.

当我们看到一辆巡航大道的警察汽车时,他立即克服了它。即时偏执狂。如果他们决定阻止我们,我们将直接进入夜晚,即使我们在我们之间只有一个标枪。

我听到了从屋顶涂抹涂料房屋的年轻孩子,开始大喊,“Bajando!bajando!“那是西班牙语警报。这意味着警察即将到来。我们看到人们走出了我们刚刚来自的建筑物。另一个来自角落的观察者喊道,“别跑了!冷静下来!不要跑!“在街道上朝着大楼前往街道的人刚刚转过身来,走快走快走。在不到两分钟的时间里,街道是空的。 The whole thing was really organized. By the time the cop car appeared around the corner and cruised slowly in front of the building, everything was peaceful.

I’d seen a funny scene one day at a dope spot on Rivington Street. People were lined up against a waist-high wall, waiting to score. Suddenly the alert went out, a cop car was coming, so the seller and all the people in line dropped on all fours and were hidden by the wall. After the car went by, it was business as usual, everybody just stood up.

卖家总是试图在警察领先一步。一些涂料的房子正在进行常规的卖家将从绳子上从窗口降低篮子,客户将放入他的钱,并将举办篮子。下来将来到涂料包。当警察来到时,篮子将迅速提升,人群会分散。涂料场景没有邋seriesmanship的余地。有很多工人。

Before the cop car got to us, we found a cab right on the next block. That was luck. We drove past Ninth and B and there was a guy with a knife standing over a person who’d been in line at the building we’d just come from. The guy on the ground wasn’t hurt, he was reaching into his pants pockets, pulling out his heroin, and handing it over. As we whizzed past I heard him cursing, “Shit. Dammit, now I’m gonna be sick. Common, man, leave me jes one bag. Fuck!”

“穷孩子。”阿尔韦恩回到了现场。

“他不会伤害”我“,出租车司机说。“他会不会让他留下一个包。”那个时刻的街道上的任何人都知道发生了什么。

“Good thing we found you when we did,” Alvain told the cabbie.

“Yeah. I saw you two in line,” he laughed. “Where to?”

我的朋友们在那个街区购买涂料的人有时会有他们的手表,耳环,戒指和他们所有的药物和金钱。一位艺术家朋友从一个开放开始,他一直穿着他的皮夹克,他的牛仔靴,他最好的羊毛刀裤。在刀尖撕开他的人对涂料和他的钱不满意。小偷还带着夹克,靴子,毛衣,甜筒裤,甚至是我朋友的拳击手短裤。Stark裸体,他开始跑回家,冻结。在他的方式,他搜查了垃圾桶的东西,终于找到了一个肮脏的粉红色毛衣,所以他把腿放在袖子里,跑了,希望他没有看到他知道的任何人。至少他的王被覆盖了。

当他告诉我这个故事时,我嘲笑着根本笑。回想起来,他也承认这很有趣,但在他被抚育的时候。

这样的事情总是在那里发生。朋友偶尔会在夜晚逮捕并在监狱中逮捕并在监狱里,或者他们会失去租金。我从来没有知道任何人被刺伤,但我从来没有知道任何愚蠢的人足以拒绝用刀放弃他们的东西。有些人,街头街头的新街头,会给他们的伙计们的钱,他们认为是偶像跑步者。当然,这些“跑步者”不会回归。如果你碰巧找到一个真正的赛跑者,他会带着沉船回来,但他会拿一个或两个跑枪。所以它在那边昂贵且有时危险。出于这个原因,几个朋友开始从家里销售海洛因。

芭芭拉做了。她写了一个猛犸小说,称为10磅。她和她的Padour Jane住在一起,是一个摇滚音乐家。他们在开始销售涂料之前,他们是我的好朋友,而他们卖掉它我每天都看到了他们。比街道更愉快,总是在壁炉场上燃烧,架子上的大量书籍和花瓶中的花朵。猫蜷缩在椅子上,有新鲜咖啡的气味。这是一个家。

几个亲密的朋友会访问芭芭拉,买一些海洛因。她赚了一些钱,每个人都很开心。习惯需要几个月,有时候在它爬上你之前与这些东西涉及多年。我认为很多这些人都感到震惊,因为他们依赖海洛因,即使他们没有射击它,而且哼了一声。有些人足够愚蠢,相信如果你没有使用注射器就无法获得习惯。在一定点,我知道的很多人都使用海洛因,其中一些人有习惯,但没有人太认真对待。每个人都总是开玩笑,一切都很熟悉......但是......沉没恶病并不愉快,或有趣或浪漫。Baudelaire,Poe,Coleridge,以及调情与Apiates调情的那些作家并没有写一些病态。

在没有钱之前,海洛因习惯对用户来说不是一个问题。我记得在这家别致的法国餐厅举行的新年前夜派对,所有客人都在海洛因上很高。每个人的学生都有精确定位;每个人都处于蔬菜状态,并且像黄瓜一样酷。所有的眼睛都在午夜的中风干燥,并且没有大量的笑声;没有太大的情感展示,就像在饮酒者的派对一样,但在他们的黑色小瘾君子里,每个人都感到温暖和爱,他们只是无法展示它。

Everyone was standing up and mingling and talking; if they’d sat down they probably would have nodded out. They were all really good friends, people who’d gotten to know each other from the Mudd Club days before, and it was great to see everybody, even through the dopey haze of dope. These heroin users, like drinkers everywhere, had used the New Year’s Eve excuse to get higher for this night, and everyone was as stoned as they could be. At one point, after midnight, I turned to a filmmaker friend of mine.

“Look around,” I said, “Do you realize that every single person here is high on heroin? It looks like a Zombie Jamboree.”

He scanned the group, “You’re right,” he said, and laughed. I told everyone, and everyone laughed about it. We all had a good time that night, even though a lot of people were dozing off on their feet, buoyed up by the crush of friends around them. Yeah, everyone had fun, even the people who missed most of it because they were in the bathroom throwing up, or snorting more heroin.

It wasn’t like those typical SoHo art parties, like the one where they had passed marijuana around, where the guests had never known scary 4是。走在海洛因邻居,他们没有一个人生病,或者在他们的屁股上穿着肮脏的毛衣,或者没有食物,他们也没有吃了三天,因为没有足够的食物和涂料。那些人,无辜的人,从未发现自己突然在降低需求情况下突然发现自己,似乎像青少年一样。非用户是一个整体不同的人。他们可能更聪明,因为从未参与过沉容,但事实上,当瘾君子成为前瘾时,他们有点聪明,看到了地狱。

Cookie Mueller,NéeDorothyKaren Mueller,在John Waters的领先角色扮演着主教粉红色的火烈鸟女性麻烦绝望的生活那and多个疯子。她写了East Village Eyeand细节杂志那performed in a series of plays by Gary Indiana, and wrote numerous stories that would only be published posthumously. She died in New York City ofAIDS-related complications at age forty.

此前未发布的一块的版本将出现在在游泳池中散步清澈的水,涂上黑色,新版:收集的故事那which will be published in April by Semiotext(e).