山姆的铲球盒是墙壁到墙的商品，包装得如此紧密，以至于大多数顾客认为已经展示了所有待售的东西。但是埃拉纳·霍尔（Elana Hall）并没有上当。尽管诱饵和盐水的stunk商店仍然可以捕捉到甲基苯丙胺的酸味，山姆本人定期在销售地面上方的一个通风良好的房间里烹饪。

伊莱的工具盒和她的女儿,我anette, every week, though neither had much affection for fish. Still, the kid went wild in the place, and broke away from her mother as soon as they passed through the door. Elana, troubled and aching, paused next to an arrangement of musky lures and watched her go. Weren’t children’s senses supposed to be more acute than adults’? Shouldn’t Sam’s reek and clutter be too much for her girl? A dim memory surfaced from her own past, a trip to New York City, to Chinatown, the smell of fish so overwhelming that she begged her dad to return to Des Moines straightaway. The fact that her daughter could handle Sam’s—the fact that she sometimes seemed to love it—suggested that Jeanette was already leaving childhood behind. Physical senses dulling, their loss soon to be offset by increased insight and guile. A pain pulsed behind Elana’s eyes. It frightened her, this coming Jeanette. This clever spy replacing her dreamy little tot, who understood and wanted not much at all.

“Friends!” Sam’s third wife called from behind the register. Her name was Janice, and she wore studded wristbands, a leotard and a long, low ponytail, as if any minute she might either punch somebody or pull out a sticky mat and pop into Downward-Facing Dog.

Elana allowed a thin smile of anticipation. Janice pushed a button beneath the counter, and they both listened to a faint bell ring overhead. There was the solid sound of boots hitting the floor. A door closing. The ee-aw of the stairs. Then Sam himself, from behind a green curtain on the side wall, still handsome and imposing at sixty. And Elana as happy to see him as when she was a kid at the Ceilidh, when he’d grab her to join a Gordon dance with his now-dead first wife and her dad.

She moved toward him quickly. But out from an aisle ran her daughter, crashing into his legs. Sam lifted Jeanette, and she opened up to flaunt her horrible new braces.

“Mom said they make me look beautiful!” she squealed.

“Your mom’s a real sweet lady,” Sam said smoothly. “Your mom’s something else, that’s for sure.” He set the girl down. “In fact, I’d like to talk to your mom in private. I have an idea for your birthday present that I need to float.”

“We got some Fuzz-E-Grubs in,” Janice called enticingly.

“I haven’t put them out yet, but I’ll let you take a look.”

她的女儿赶到柜台，埃拉纳（Elana）沿着萨姆（Sam）走过一个钻机的过道，然后向海市rage楼的后屏幕门出去。三十年前，他通过围起来的一半停车场并种植橡树和草来创建它。在过去的六个月中，增加了运动敏感的灯和铁丝网。这些灯的设计仅在晚上起作用，但是随着橡树的积极成长，海市rage楼被覆盖，叶子茂密的叶子几乎遮住了阳光。当Elana和Sam进入时，单个食物点击了并聚焦了他们的动作 - 她坐在一个小的网眼躺椅上，他将自己拖到他停在街区上的贝斯船上。

这是今年6月,在夏天当seventeen-year cicadas emerged from underground. The trees were filled with buzz, males drumming their abdomens while females laid eggs and died. But in spite of the noise, the headache Elana had been fronting all day stepped back. Around Sam, things settled into place. He took over whatever story you were telling so you could sit down and shut up.

She rolled her sleeve to her elbow. Sam unsnapped the boat’s cover and climbed into the hold. A month ago she’d lost her job at Hy-Vee for spitting at a customer who complained about her bagging pace. Jeanette’s braces came next. Still, even without cash, Sam kept advancing her. She knew he had a reason for stringing her along—the man was no saint—but she figured that being aware of it meant that she was complicit. Being complicit in her own destruction made the danger seem less.

Sam climbed down from the boat with a syringe and a strip of tubing. When he offered them, she shook her head.

“Do you mind?” she asked. “My eyes are wrecked.”

他弯腰弯腰，用管子盘旋。她咬了一端，品尝了橡胶。山姆拍了拍手臂的弯，直到他停下来。

首先来了。然后旋转。埃拉纳（Elana）从椅子上抽出拳头，抬起头，摇着头，直到她撞到一个低矮的树枝，松开了一阵蝉壳。叹了口气，山姆从头发上摘下了髓样的皮。

“Seventeen years ago,” he said, pinching a dry skin to dust. “Where was Elana then?” Her head rang as images flashed from that summer. Third place in Jig at a dancing comp in Chicago. Pink champagne from the gas station, drunk in Greenwood Park. The driver’s ed teacher, Mr. Hunt, yelling about her lead foot and rolling stops.

“那不是一个完整的停留！”她现在嘶哑，想起了他从乘客座位上的嘶哑的声音。“在加利福尼亚，也许那只半路的停车会飞起来。但是我向你保证，不要在这里！”

Sam cast a sharp eye upon her. “Funny you mention California,” he said. “You ever been?”

“Un uh. Un uh.” She stepped away from him, to give everything its space.

山姆小心翼翼地将他的衬衫放到椅子上之前。“让我直截了当，”他说。“我不是切断人的人。但是我看不到您将如何偿还这笔巨额债务。”

所以这是一天！恐惧的闪烁，但速度将其转变为能量。“也许我们可以集思广益，”她明亮地说。

“I’ll start.” Sam stroked his beard, the pale gray of it strange against his hard, tanned face. “Let me paint the big picture. Demand is high, which is good, but the bad news is I can’t keep up on my own. Most operations around here are sourced in southern Cal. It’s time for me to plug into that game. The catch is that that particular pipeline is no secret to anyone, narcs included, and they’ve got the highways between here and L.A. all staked out. Some unfortunates try the bus as safe passage. Remember that guy nabbed on Greyhound with ten pounds of crank in his socks?”

“飞行呢？”

“ X射线，狗。不，这条路是唯一的路。一个问题：最好的封面是什么？”

He went on to describe his strategy of outfitting a vehicle and its passengers as if the whole enterprise were an innocent family trip. Plenty of luggage in the trunk, plenty of snacks in a cooler, guidebooks and maps prominently displayed. The problem was, he said, that even if he and Janice tricked themselves out as tourists, the disparity in their ages made them appear suspect. It wasn’t Janice, he continued, but himself. There was a criminal air about him that he’d never been able to shake. That, along with a tendency to get shifty-eyed in authority’s presence, meant that he’d be forced to sit this trip out.

Elana tried to stay with his speech, but the meth jumped her ahead to his as-yet unspoken proposal that she go to California in his place. The idea both terrified and attracted her. That’s how it was with most things those days.

“I want to give you the chance to clear your debt,” Sam said, leaning forward to set his elbows on his knees. “I’ll forgive everything if Jeanette rides to California with Janice.”

“No,” she said automatically.

“Imagine. A cop pulls them over. What’s this? A mother and daughter taking a summer trip. What could be nicer? More straight up?”

“一个好母亲不会那样冒险。”但是她已经意识到一个略微的内在崩溃。“我怎么能成为一个好妈妈，让她走？”

“A good mother wants what’s best for her child. Think. What do you want for Jeanette?”

她设想了一个有椰子和野马的岛屿。

她说：“让她最终到其他地方。”

“Right,” said Sam. “Somewhere else entirely. This trip could show her a lot of different ways to live.” He reclined in the chair. “Besides, you know I loved your father. I’d never do anything to hurt his only grandkid.”

“关于我的什么？”她听到自己抱怨。“我是他的唯一女儿。看看你对我做了什么。”

山姆站起来，抓住了她的手腕。起初，她以为他在安慰她，但是随着他的握力收紧，她收到了真正的信息：痛苦。

“你挖了自己的洞，”他均匀地说。“我带了铲子，但你把它放在泥土上。”

她指出：“没有铲子，我就无法深入。”

“Don’t be stupid.”

“I’m not stupid,” she mumbled. “I’m weak.” Then some sort of aural hallucination overtook her, reducing their discussion to one word—California!—cried with delight. California! California! California! With each repetition the word sounded less strange and the voice more familiar, until she recognized it as her daughter’s, from inside the store. Was it possible that her daughter had stumbled into her consciousness, discovering a decision she thought she hadn’t yet made?

“我要去加利福尼亚！”珍妮特哭了。Elana从Sam上挣扎，凝视着屏幕。她的女儿朝她跑去，辫子飞，所以很快没有时间警告。

珍妮特全速撞到门。她昏昏欲睡，试图拉开，但她的牙套缠在屏幕上。

“哦，亲爱的，”珍妮丝在她身后说。“我会得到钳子。”

Jeanette screamed. The sound pierced Elana, but before she could move, Sam was kneeling before the door.

“Honey,” he said urgently, “calm down, or you’ll hurt yourself even worse. How about I give you the rest of your birthday present? Then play you a little something on my pipes?”

Jeanette’s next sob stopped in her throat. “Okay,” she said, sniffling.

山姆向他的船缓步走来,运动灯佛罗里达州hing like he was a paparazzo’s prey. After a moment, Elana willed herself toward her daughter. Jeanette’s lips were stretched back from her mouth. Her gums and teeth were flat against the wire, like a caged monkey in a lab.

“甜豌豆，”埃拉纳告诉她。“我要慢慢打开这扇门。我这样做的时候就向前走。”当她转动手柄并拉动时，珍妮特（Jeanette）越过门槛进入海市rage楼。Elana握住她的手，蹲在屏幕对面。

“Your hand thwet,” her daughter said in an accusing tone, tongue thrusting against the screen.

“I’m sweating,” Elana said quickly. “You scared the crap out of me with that wail.” She let go to wipe her palm on her jeans, then clutched Jeanette’s hand again. “Why did you say you’re going to California?

“Janith thaid you thaid okay. For my birthday.”

“这听起来真的很有趣吗？”

“你的信仰很奇怪。”

“你应该看到你的，”埃拉纳说。她舔了舔嘴唇。

“So you want to go? You wouldn’t miss not having me along?”

Before her daughter could answer, Sam returned, a purple plastic suitcase in his hand. When he unzipped the case, it was stuffed with new clothes. He removed a pair of red canvas platform sneakers for Jeanette’s approval. They were far too high for an eight-year-old girl.

“我爱他们！”她的女儿大叫。

“Let me see those,” said Elana.

“Careful,” Sam said, handing her a sneaker. It was surprisingly light, and when she examined the sole, she saw it had been cut out and reglued. If she had a knife she could wedge the tip in and peel back the rubber, but even without a knife she knew what was inside. A hollowed-out platform. An empty two-inch space. They were going to stash meth in her daughter’s shoes. It was wicked enough to make her woozy. Though if cops found drugs on Jeanette—she caught herself reasoning—they’d know her daughter was an unwitting pawn. The nearest adult would be the one accountable. And Elana would be miles away. If the cops came after her next, she could explain that an old family friend had offered the trip as a gift. How could she be expected to know the journey’s true aim?

她想问让·珍妮（Jeanette）的主要问题，但她的女儿被山姆（Sam）看不见。吹口哨，他坐在躺椅上，将风笛组装，将旋律管和无人机安装在他们的股票上。珍妮特（Jeanette）固定地看着他，直到珍妮丝（Janice）带着钳子和一小片丝剪回来。

捕捉工具，珍妮特僵硬了。“不，”她抱怨道。

“没关系，”珍妮丝说。“我只是要解开电线，也许可以切掉一点屏幕。”

“Mom,” Jeanette whispered.

“We need to get you out,” Elana reassured her, squeezing her hand. “Would you feel better if I do it?”

Her daughter gave her a wary look. “What about Tham?”

他停止了组装。他说：“亲爱的，我的手指太大了。”“我不能进入那里。”

“Do you want me to do it?” Elana asked again.

她的女儿昏暗的东西使她的脸色变暗。

“不，”她终于说。“贾尼斯可以。”

The other woman nudged Elana from her spot. When the pliers opened, Elana looked away. She switched her attention to the lounger, where Sam was tuning his pipes. First a note on the chanter. Followed by a note from the tenor drone, not quite there. He adjusted the sliding joints and again played the chanter. Then another near miss. More adjustments, and the drone became shorter. Once more, the original note. The tenor note, played in response, remained a hairsbreadth off-key.

Elana’s shirt was soaked in sweat. “Isn’t it close enough?” she asked angrily.

Without responding, Sam mouthed the blowpipe and started “Scotland the Brave.” The low notes thrummed in her chest the way they did as a child, when during the summer Sam and her dad practiced in the yard. She’d listen from the attic where she slept. All the heat in the house rose there, and she’d remove her nightgown and throw the sheets on the floor to get cool. She’d close her eyes and hold herself rigid, in order to catch the tiniest draft if it passed. Most nights she’d be awake for hours. The heat rarely broke before dawn.

现在，这里有同样的曲调，是同一位球员。她试图带回静止的感觉。但是秘密已经消失了。

“Finished,” Janice announced, shaking out her wrist.

珍妮特没有回应。她凝视着山姆，后者吹着他的脸颊，向他的手臂下的袋子施压。注意到这一点，埃拉纳（Elana）滑倒在女儿身后，使她从门上移开。然后她弯下腰。

“You know, baby, they call California the Golden State because they discovered gold there, yes, and because of all the yellow sand too, of course, but golden also because everybody wants to go there, to be there, and myself, I never have, so I think you’re really very lucky, you’re luckier than me, and—”

“辞职说,”珍妮特不耐烦地说。“我想要听的。”

§

一个小时后，埃拉纳独自一人走大道。驾驶员从过往的汽车上扔了一支点燃的香烟。Elana从人行道上捏住它，将其带到嘴唇上时，手在颤抖。她在扔掉之前将存根抚摸了五个街区。

Once home, she tore open an envelope of lime Jell-O. She wet her finger and poked inside, licking off whatever stuck. After the dark streets, the kitchen seemed snug and intimate. Blue bowls dried in a wooden drainer, an herb garden grew in Styrofoam cups on the sill. Elana switched on the television. Let the thing glow and roar for a while.

她将其余的果冻倒入茶杯中。在屏幕上，室内设计师指示他的观众不要在装饰计划中忘记天花板。“非常重要，”该男子宣称。“天花板是您的第五堵墙。”该节目切成了一个以草率的天使为主题的壁画的镜头，但Elana无法摆脱这些话。如果天花板确实是第五堵墙，那么主勋爵就必须是第六堵墙。考虑到所有六个墙壁开始越来越近。她带着茶杯逃到院子里。

There, the cicadas’ singing had taken on a rowdy, boastful aspect. Elana paced the perimeter of her bricked-up patio. Her daughter was staying with Sam and Janice and would leave at sunrise. They were aiming for Ogallala by noon.

她做了一件可怕的邪恶的事情。但是突然，在黑色的天空下，她感到幸福。她的债务被偿还。更重要的是，她终于达到了岩石底部。此后，她和珍妮特（Jeanette）可以再次开始。没有更多的毒品。没有铲球盒。没有山姆。她呼吸着，想象着清晰度是闪闪发光的蒸汽，让她吸入。

Back in the kitchen, she turned off the television and went to survey her daughter’s room. Her sweet love! Hot tears spilled to her cheeks, and she staggered onto her daughter’s bed. The body was exhausted, but the mind galloped. Even with closed eyes, she could see Jeanette’s monkey face. Despairing, she looked to the ceiling for solace. In one corner hung a thread of lint, twitching in a feeble breeze.

§

Jeanette’s riding shotgun, next to Janice, and her mouth hurts. In her pocket there’s wax to protect cheeks from braces, but wax is nothing, it’s really a joke. Her mother said to try aspirin, but Jeanette doesn’t ever take it, and she doesn’t ask Janice for anything now. The truth is she thinks this must be what it feels like to be older. The ache makes her feel tired and wise.

珍妮丝（Janice）说，在这里，在春季，人们向草坪开火。烧掉冬天的杂草，使草恢复了绿色和坚固。

珍妮特（Jeanette）认为珍妮丝（Janice）有点丑陋，那些下垂的眼睛和不好的皮肤。

珍妮丝说，有时在大风天，大火变大并带走了房屋。

珍妮特（Jeanette）忽略了她，抬头看着像汤一样红色的谷仓，上面放着木板，让阳光穿过。

Just over the hill, Janice slams the brakes hard. Tea splashes from the mug she’s holding onto her sweater and the legs of Jeanette’s jeans.

看，她说。

珍妮特做。天空的日出紫色。厚厚的阴霾在马路上漂流。

Unless you want to go crazy, Janice says, make sure you’re often in the presence of beauty. Or in the presence of ugliness if it is the truth.

珍妮特（Jeanette）颤抖，因为她的思想已经阅读。她说，有时候你有时候你丑陋。

I’m true. And truthfully, sometimes you’re ugly too.

但是我不是真的，珍妮特说。

珍妮丝喝茶。她说，不诚实有自己的美感。特别是如果它揭示了更深层的真理。

我们可以吃炸玉米饼吗？珍妮特问她。

What?

Can we have tacos?

珍妮丝（Janice）为什么要打扰，但也许以她的声音感情。她将珍妮特（Jeanette）拉近，然后扭动一头头发。

§

Like she was attacked by a drunken boxer, Elana hurt. Fever burned in her eyeballs and the membranes of her nose. Lying in her daughter’s bed, she chewed on a piece of lip until it ripped free. The new morning filtered in, bringing no hope whatsoever. When she pressed a thumb to her lip, it came back with blood. The promises she made to herself? Ha. Overnight the blessing she received had been withdrawn.

Sam lived in one half of a duplex a few blocks from the store. Elana hesitated on his porch before ringing the bell. He’d instructed her to lie low until Janice and Jeanette returned. He planned to close the Tackle Box and spend the weekend piping at the Highland Games. Nobody was supposed to contact anybody. There would be no postcards or calls from the road.

门打开时，山姆已经穿着苏格兰短裙。

他看上去很生气，但毫无意义。

“What are you doing here?” he said. “We had a deal.”

“我不希望她走，”埃拉纳说。

“你知道他们已经离开了。你为什么来？”

她张开嘴回答，但缺乏说话的精力。

“说，‘我无能为力面对现实生活。’说，‘我是一个卖光了我的灵魂的迷。’

There was no call for him to talk like that. Her indignation gave her a moment’s strength. “I don’t feel powerless,” she said slowly. “Not at all. Desperate, maybe. Like I could do anything. Even call the police.”

Sam glared at her. “You’ll get busted and lose her forever.”

她说：“在这一生中，我们所有人都有要失去的东西。”

“你死了。。。”她瞬间以为他会打她，但他以某种方式恢复了控制。“我在做什么？”他说，紧张地说是一种可亲的语气。“你和我，我们是朋友。很长一段时间。我们应该通过这个粗糙的补丁互相帮助。”

她说：“我可以提供一些帮助。”

“There’s no reason to go through this alone. It will be a hard week for both of us.” He smiled tensely. “How about this? Why don’t you come with me to the games? Might be a nice diversion for you.”

So he understood that it was safer to have her near. To keep her addled and quiet. Good.

一旦她进入室内，山姆偶然地说道：“查看约翰的第三个抽屉。”她在那里找到了一个玻璃信封和一个套件。她嘴里的管道像奶嘴一样尝起来。两根手指在她的皮肤上敲打着，听起来像是试图摇动番茄酱。她修复后，前一天晚上的兴奋使回报更加柔和。就像她斜眼一样，她可以看到一切的终点，就像远处的标志一样在远处隐约可见。上周，她发誓。上周一个，她经历了。

On the way to the Games, she jabbered to Sam about her redecorating plans for Jeanette’s room, the wonders she’d work on that fucked ceiling—wait—fifth wall. He listened in silence.

“Here,” he said finally, when they pulled into the fairgrounds’ dusty parking field. He gave her a small baggie of pills. “In case you want to bring it down.”

The entrance to the Games was flagged by banners announcing the weekend’s reuniting clans. Sam paid her admission, and they entered the gauntlet of exhibitors and vendors peddling everything from bangers to medieval swords. In one spacious booth, a falconer in black gloves attended a hawk tied with bungee cord to a steel V-framed perch. As Elana approached, she saw the man fasten a silver bell to the hawk’s leg. Above the bell, the bird’s plumage was cream and brown, its posture freakily erect. Elana stepped closer. The hawk appeared sleek-bodied and hungry. He was a fearsome creature, even tied.

The falconer glanced at her. Then at Sam.

“What do you throw a drowning bagpipe player?” he asked.

山姆在回答前叹了口气。“他的风笛。”

“You got it,” the falconer said, standing tall. “Cheers. You know, they say the Scots have a good sense of humor because it’s free.” He reached behind him for a whiskey-filled quaich, but Sam declined his offer and took Elana’s arm.

“继续，”她说。“我想我会在这里闲逛。”

“Let’s go.” He increased the strength of his hold.

“哦，”埃拉纳大声说。

The falconer’s eyebrows lifted. Across the row, a pretzel vendor paused as she counted a man’s change. Sam assessed the scene. After a moment, he released Elana and brushed some dust from his shirtfront. “Be at the stage in half an hour,” he said, through his teeth.

“不用担心，弹出。”猎鹰破裂。“我会密切关注她。”在他旁边，鹰抬起了两个翅膀，直到他们几乎遇到了开销。山姆给了曼和伯德的凝视，然后终于走开了。

The falconer laughed. “Is your daddy piping today?”

“他不是我的爸爸，”埃拉纳说。“但是他正在为高地跳舞。”她接受了Quaich并喝酒。“您可能不相信，但是我曾经跳舞。多年前。”

“I bet you were something in your hornpipe suit.” The falconer was too young for her, but he had a sly manner that made her feel indulgent of his youth and aroused.

“What about you?” she asked, returning the cup. “You hunt or you only do the Games?”

“我们大多数日子飞。即使它只是用我的手臂伸出来，从手套上狩猎麻雀。”

She stared wide-eyed at the hawk. “You fly this thing at sparrows?”

“Other days we go to the country with a couple ferrets. Loose the ferrets to flush the jacks out of their holes. Then this beauty wastes them.” He clapped his hands. “Rabbit stew all around.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier to use a gun?”

“Always easier to use a gun. But I’m not about easy.” He shook his head, grinning. “No, I take my pleasure in the process.” He bent toward her. “And if I may ask, what do you take your pleasure in?”

She shrugged. “I’d say product. Mostly.”

“That was my guess,” he said. “But maybe I can change your mind.” He assumed a wide stance and cleared his throat. “There’s this process called manning. It’s when you train the raptor to tolerate your presence. Convincing her it’s in her best interest to stick around.”

她很感兴趣。“它如何工作？”

“就像你可能会把她的翅膀绑在袜子里，这样她就不能在你看来。”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Elana said.

The falconer seemed amused. “Then onto the unconventional ways.” He lowered his voice. “I know one way to cut the manning time in half. Learned it from an Arab fellow over in Cairo. Seeling, he called it.”

“我在听。”她小声说。

猎鹰队戴着手套在她的脸上。它足够大，可以涵盖她的所有功能。她让舌头弹出并品尝谷物。

“In seeling,” he said, “you sew a raptor’s eyes shut with a single piece of thread.”

She punched away the glove. “What the hell?”

猎鹰眨了眨眼。“不要有错误的主意。”他向鹰示意，霍克茫然地观察了他。“这里没有发生主人/奴隶的事情。”

“I hope that bird claws out your eyeballs!” Elana cried.

“You got the wrong idea,” the falconer insisted. “I live my whole life around hers.”

Elana swiveled wildly. People were gathering, and in the distance, she saw a man with a red security sash take note. Meanwhile, the falconer pleaded for understanding. The hawk stretched, extending its tail feathers in a fan. Elana broke into a panicky jog that carried her past the athletics field, the Exhibition Hall, and a Campbell Clan Reunion before she arrived, sweating, at the outdoor dancing stage. The competition hadn’t started, but the stage was crowded with girls practicing jumps and high steps. The girls wore gray sweatpants under their kilts, and their hair was twisted into what looked like painful buns.

She made her way to a patch of lawn near the front of the amphitheater. Beside her, a couple on a blanket fed each other fresh shortbread and shared a cup of lemon tea. Elana’s pulse felt erratic, and her forearms itched. She choked down two Valium, but forbade herself from scratching. It was small punishment for her flirting. For flirting while her child might be in danger. She wept softly at the idea.

“Your daughter up there?” the male half of the couple asked, mistaking her tears for pride.

“在哪里？”她急切地说，然后抓住自己。“我的意思是，不，我没有孩子。”提及珍妮特只会导致进一步的问题：几岁？她喜欢什么？她现在在哪儿？

“Sorry,” the man said. “None of my business.”

“不，还没有孩子，”她重复道。“也许有一天。”

Over the loudspeaker, the MC called for Novices to gather.

He introduced three judges, who assumed center seats. Finally he brought on Sam, who appeared with a wink and his bagpipes, hitting his spot at the rear of the stage.

The first group competed in the Fling. Elana tried to lose herself in the kids’ goofy missteps, but without luck. Denying her daughter’s existence had left her sick. Why didn’t she mention Jeanette and, if the man asked further, explain that she was at camp? She considered leaning over now and telling him, but he would think she was crazy.

在舞台上，山姆用一连串的恩典音符结束了曲调。他数了一两个三，小女孩鞠躬。接下来，一群中间体安装在舞台上，其中一个看上去很像珍妮特（Jeanette） - 辫子，牙套，超级空气 - 伊拉纳（Elana）必须降低她的眼睛。动作足以使她入睡。

§

In mid-Nebraska, there’s a red school bus parked way off the road, and that’s where they pause for a while. Janice’s girlfriend lives there. She and Janice sprawl on beanbags and smoke clove cigarettes, listening to Joni Mitchell’s Blue.

Come here, Janice says.

Jeanette sits beside her, and Janice twists her into a yoga position, feet behind her head. Jeanette’s back against the wall keeps her upright. Her tailbone’s rock hard on the floor.

你可以想象？女友说。我的意思是，真的。

珍妮丝说，在她未来的未来中广受欢迎。

Yeah? Jeanette wonders.

No, Janice says. No popularity. Your fate is to always be alone.

嘿，女友说，生气，不要用那个可怜的孩子骑。

I’m liberating her, says Janice. Being alone you’re free to take risks. You’re beholden to no one. That’s the kind of people the world needs.

不好,女朋友说,bea的上升ns. Not nice at all! She adjusts her vest and wobbles out of the bus.

珍妮丝叹了口气。女性。然后她爬向门，叫凯利？蜜糖？

Jeanette watches her go, not worrying, because she knows she’ll return. But soon she hears glass break, a door slam, a car start and drive away.

The problem: she has flexibility, but not strength. Her arms are trapped by her thighs, and she doesn’t have enough muscle to lift her feet over her head. Lift, she mutters, lift! Nothing. Joni sings about kissing a pig on some street.

几分钟后，一个年长的女孩闲逛，将格子盖扣到百慕大袋上。她停下来学习现场，然后放下钱包并抓住珍妮特的鞋子。她释放的脚在地板上thunk thunk。

Thanks, Jeanette says, toes stinging. She tries to stand, but the girl says no. Always end with the Corpse pose, the girl says. She tells Jeanette to lie on her back, arms out to the side. Make your legs heavy, she says. Open your shoulders. Now relax and let your tongue settle down.

§

Elana started awake. Onstage the Premier class had just finished Flora’s Fancy, and held their skirts out stiffly, like clean white tents. Sam whispered one-two-three from his corner. The girls performed lovely bows. It was the final dance of the morning, and Sam lumbered off the stage.

Red-faced from anger and lack of breath, he came to where Elana was sitting. “Nodding off up here in front of everyone,” he chastised her.

她说：“我做不到。”“我们必须停止它。这次旅行将发生可怕的事情。”

“Come on,” Sam said, yanking her to her feet. “There’s another piper for the afternoon session. I’m off until tomorrow. Let’s split.”

在去汽车的路上，他们经过了猎鹰队。Elana躲开了头，试图赶紧。

“嘿，流行音乐，”猎鹰喊道。“当吹笛者被埋在沙滩上的脖子上时，你有什么？”

Sam pivoted toward him. The falconer’s hopeful smile began to fade. It took Sam three steps to cover the distance between them. Then, with a neat jab, he slammed the hawk. The bird’s feet stuttered before it dropped like a rock from the perch, swinging upside-down from its cord.

“Not enough sand,” said Sam. He kept his fist clenched, like the falconer was next. But the anguished man was cradling the hawk, trying to revive it, and eventually Sam’s fingers relaxed.